Voice of the White House

January 5, 2017

Washington, D.C.:
There is a new business area starting to grow and that is an anti-drone system. Small drones are being sold world-wide in large numbers and the skies are filled with them. The feeble-minded use them around airports while perverts try to scope out someone taking a nude tanning session on their balcony. Also, many government and law enforcement agencies use drones to spy on the population and in the military sphere, drones are used to blow up hospitals, schools, and day care centers throughout the world. There exists today several portable, and highly effective, antidotes to the drone swarms. One of these is made in a Scandinavian country (we just cannot remember the name of the country or the product name. Sad.) and is about the size of a cigar case. When turned on, (it uses rechargeable batteries) the device cuts off all transmissions of any kind within a considerable distance (1000 meters outdoors, less inside a building). This shuts off GPS transmissions as well. And it does work very well, believe us. If a snooping drone comes within the range of the device, their directional transmissions cease and the drone has no control and can either crash into a local day care center or come down on a highway full of cars. Of course the government and law enforcement people would quickly pass a law against the use of such a device but laws have never stopped an increasingly restive population before. And if a large DHS drone, losing control, suddenly crashed into an apartment building in Tallahassee where your Aunt Edna is celebrating her 95th birthday and the resulting crash and following fire roasts dozens of wheel chair-bound guests, the agency that launched the drone would be blamed. Onward and upwards with the arts!