Voice of the White House

January 30, 2020

Washington, D.C.:
This shocking, dangerous and evil Corona flu virus now rampant in China is causing the brainless media to yap and howl like a room full of Chihuahuas on speed. The virus is no more dangerous than the usual winter flu outbreaks but the media is making a great plague out of it. Last week it was the awful nerve gas poisoning of a former Russian spy living in England and this week, the knuckle-draggers are warning us about flu. What will be next? Trump banning virginity? Pompeo romping buck naked with a withered Jesus at a Texas mall? Or the media howling with fear at the discovery that evil vampire bats are infesting American libraries across the nation? (Russia is suspected and Trump will sanction Russian bats, tennis shoes and those motorized Russian strap-ons, so popular with Congressmen and their boyfriends).