Voice of the White House

June 25, 2008

Washington, D.C.:
“Much ‘leaked’ disinformation about a ‘possible Israeli attack on Iran.’ Of course this silly business, which ranks with the constant fear crap peddled by desperate Republicans, is supposed to terrify Iran and, hopefully, energize Bush into doing the dirty deed himself. Unfortunately for the Israelis, a number of their new former Russian citizens were SVR (read 'KGB' here) sleeper agents and believe me, anything of a secret nature passing from the United States to Israel ends up in Moscow the same day. The Russians have more than one agent in place in Tel Aviv operating so if one gets caught, another is still active. Perhaps the Russians could find some loose-mouthed fool, 'hire' them as a 'special agent,' fill them with disinformation, send them to Israel and, if they get into their intelligence, tip off the Mossad that they are a Russian spy and let them pour out all the misleading and, hopefully, destructive, disinformation. Mumbling McCain suggested we send a battleship to the Persian Gulf! My God, he should really take his meds! The Russians have surface-to-surface missiles well-emplaced (and hidden from satellites) in the Iranian mountains that would make short work of any large ship in such a confined area, and besides, there are no battleships in commission. If the U.S. Navy were used against Iran, they would have to stand off in the Indian Ocean to launch their aircraft. I often wonder why the resistance Muslims in Iraq don't put a limpet mine under one of the huge oil tankers that dock off of Basra. If it went off halfway down the Gulf towards the Straits of Hormuz, the result would be a huge oil spill that no one would care about but it would also frighten off the London-based insurance companies and they would stop insuring the huge and very expensive tankers. No insurance company would insure and no ship owner would dare risk his enormous investment. Ergo, no Iraqi oil. Besides, there is now a movement afoot in Congress to put aside the Bush-ordered no-bid contracts by major oil companies on Iraqi oil. The worm turns, but very slowly.”