Voice of the White House

January 23, 2018

Washington, D.C.:
Here is an actual e-mail we got from a reader:

What they say about the Harry Potter books is 100% correct! Our son Pauli, who is only 9 years old, set the cat on fire last week and poor Mr. Spats made terrible cries and ran around the living room until he burned up. He ran under a couch and set it on fire and my husband, Karl, was so upset that he chased Pauli outside and beat him with a garden hose. In the meantime, the couch set the house on fire and Grandma Tom was asleep upstairs and didn't make it out. We found the Potter book in Pauli's tree house along with terrible pictures of naked ladies and an empty muscatel bottle, so I agree that these books have to be banned forever! Now that Pauli and Grandma Tom are dead, the writer of this book and the bookstores that sell it ought to be shot!