Voice of the White House

April 16, 2009

Washington, D.C.: ‘It must be something about spring pollen that brings out the lunatic fringe. I am reading an entertaining story in a British newspaper that discusses the problems with the Somali pirates, that ranks with the HAARP and Planet X nonsense. It seems, according to a Mr. Hari, that the pirates are actually local heroes who are battling against the latest Capitalist plot, the huge and on going dumping of millions of tons of atomic waste, just off the Somali coasts. Yes, this is a chapter in global contamination hitherto only hinted at. Every day, long lines of massive ships sail in from across the planet and, waiting for the cover of night, dump their enormous lethal cargo right into the pristine waters of the poor Somali fishermen. Think of the horrors when, after the deadly radioactivity has done its dastardly work, the innocent and natural fishermen haul up three-headed cod or 800 foot long sea snakes! I am attaching some of the more fascinating passages from this daring exposé of the Dastardly Deeds of the Evil Capitalists and the counterpoint of the small, but courageous Somali Freedom Fighters. Just consider that the seabed off of Somalia has been raised by two hundred feet solely because of the combined and increasing dumping of the nuclear waste of China, the United States, France, Great Britain, Monaco, Andorra and Bulgaria. Why, at night, the glow of under water radiation can be seen far out in space and on the various space stations in place circling the globe, the crews can read newspapers (the few still publishing) from the pale blue light of the Great Somali Dumping Ground! Well, this new story bids fair to replace the tired fabrications of the Great 9/11 Cooperative Legend Society!